Category Archives: Life

“Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is the richness of self.” – May Sarton

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I wanted to write a different post. I tried to write about how the pace of my medical education has changed dramatically since winter vacation. I tried to write a how to survive anatomy guide. I tried to write an upbeat post about Med Prom. I wanted to write a different post but it felt dishonest. Those posts (disorganized drafts on my desktop) seem better fit for another time.

I look back at my expectations for medical school and I cannot help but laugh. The disparity between my expectations and my reality knows no bounds. I had a lot of fanciful ideas prior to matriculation. I imagined that I would attend every lecture; I imagined that I would study in coffee shops; I imagined that I would have more time to engage with the city in which I now live; I imagined that my cohort would be filled with the best people I had ever met. That expectation — that my cohort would be an inseparable collection of 186 individuals — is the one that I talk about most often with my  friends at other medical schools. We have been disappointed by the culture inherent to our respective medical schools. It is probably not appropriate for me to share their personal reflections in this post, but I will share my expectations and in what way reality has fallen short of these expectations.

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“And as a special treat, he took me to the pathology lab and took a real human brain out of the jar and placed it in my hands. And there it was, the seat of human consciousness, the powerhouse of the human body, sitting in my hands.” ― Aditi Shankardass

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“Today, I held a human brain.”

That was how I started the conversation. Not with hello. Not with any of the standard greetings with which I am well acquainted. It was as though the experience of which I spoke rendered me mannerless. And she responded: “how did you feel about it?” This particular friend has an habit of responding to statements with either (1) “oh, how was that?” or (2) “how did you feel about that?” For some reason, I could never predict when she would ask either of those questions; I never had an eloquent response prepared.

“Oh.”I sat cross-legged on the floor of my apartment; I had a copy of Netter’s Atlas opened to the colorful sketches of the brain. There was really no comparison between the color-coded brain in the atlas and the brain I was able to study in the anatomy lab. “I…I don’t know. There was the initial shock factor which was soon followed by awe and humility. In that moment, I was holding the cadaver-donor’s personhood. In a way, it felt really personal.” In previous posts, I made half-promises to: (1) comment on my experience in anatomy, (2) address resources I used to survive the course, as well as (3) resources for the shelf exam. I think I may cover all of those aspects in upcoming posts but as I am on vacation / in a pensive mood, this post will serve primarily as a reflection.

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Liebster Award

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You may have noticed that over the past few months, my blog has been…barren. In that period of time, I began and finished anatomy and embryology. Last Friday, we took the NBME Anatomy Shelf exam — a national anatomy exam — and tomorrow we begin the integrated curriculum (full steam ahead for Biochemistry, Genetics, Physiology, and Histology). In a few days, I’ll share a reflection on my experience with anatomy (and embryology?), some information about how to prepare for the NBME Anatomy Shelf (what I did and what I wish that I did), and more updates about my life at TUSOM!

Over the past few months, I’ve received a few nominations for the Liebster Award and I want to take the time to thank the individuals who nominated my blog and to answer some of the questions the nominators sent my way.

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“This is a new year. A new beginning. And things will change.” ― Taylor Swift

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If I had to describe the last four weeks in one word, I’d go with whirlwind. Rather than bore you with prologue and pretense, I’ll just jump into a recap.

Four weeks ago: (1) my roommates moved in, (2) I finished MPH summer coursework, and (3) celebrated the end of summer courses. My roommates — Grace & Amanda — moved in and they are absolutely phenomenal human beings; I feel pretty lucky to have such great roommates. Both Grace and Amanda were able to join in on festivities.

Brittani — one of my friends in the MPH program — suggested that we throw a party to celebrate the end of MPH classes. Every good party has a theme (#amiright) and we decided to have a curry cook-off. Ben and Emi respectively made Taiwanese and Japanese curries and Brittani b(r)ought Jamaican curry.

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