“I don’t know where I am going but I am on my way.”

I take comfort in what is certain: there is one day until my birthday, three days that I will spend in Atlantic City, six days until I move into the house I rented for the summer, eight days until I submit the AMCAS, and thirteen days before I start my senior thesis research. Numbers. They’re never wrong;  this brings both an feeling of  security and an aspect of fear this is (as you fellow premedical students can relate) inextricably linked to my academic career.

Post-finals, my morning routine is as follows: (1) check the Her Campus Princeton email, instagram, tumblr, twitter, and facebook accounts, (2) read the New York Times and Ivy Gate Blog, (3) check semester grades on SCORE, and (4) eat breakfast, sometimes. With each grade posted, my anxiety increases. How will that score look to medical schools? Am I more or less competitive now? Should I be more worried about my academics at this point or the other characteristics that will round out my application? With medical school applications coming around the bend, it’s increasingly hard to ignore the horror stories.

Here, I’ll share one: a Princeton student with a GPA within the range of 3.9-4.0 and a MCAT score over a 40 was not admitted to any medical schools. Take a moment to let that sink in. This information was provided in a table that presented how Princeton students fared in medical school admissions. We left the medical school information session terrified. Some of my friends decided at that meeting to take a year off; some of my friends decided at that meeting to pursue other paths (PhD, MPH, etc); some of my friends were devastated. Likewise, I was worried until I realized that the numbers couldn’t tell the entire story: where did the student apply? to how many schools did the student apply? did the student submit their application late? was the student unable to interview well?

Nonetheless, I’m sure the student was surprised to receive rejection after rejection but medical school applications (much like college applications) are a crapshoot. The application process generally yields unexpected turns which just so happen to be the story of my life.

This morning, I woke up on the floor of a hotel room. That was of course my fault. My parents and my two younger siblings (Dapo and Sade) flew up from Louisiana to spend a week in Princeton for a number of reasons: my twenty-first birthday, Princeton reunions festivities, and I won’t be going home for the summer. I applied for interim housing far too late and so I was swiftly kicked out of my dorm room last Saturday. Now, my family is sharing the Trump Hotel (Atlantic City) presidential suite. It’s a long story–booking information was lost, the rooms were quite untidy, etc.–but multiple phone calls later my family shuffled into a penthouse suite in the Trump Hotel (Atlantic City). In short: this was a complete surprise.

In reflection of what has transpired today, I am reminded that not all unexpected turns are negative. Some bring tears while others bring incomparable joy. I think this is something I need to hold onto: although I am unsure of what will come this application cycle, I can’t let the fear of failure or the fear of rejection keep me from pursuing what I love. What I do know is that I will be a doctor. Someway. Somehow. Someday.

Advertisements

5 thoughts on ““I don’t know where I am going but I am on my way.”

  1. Amazing words of wisdom and encouragement for all those out there sharing in your journey as well! I am so glad that we can walk the walk and fight the fight together in this epic voyage to becoming renowned physicians. I am so excited to see where God leads us in all of this 😀

    Like

  2. I can’t help but smile reading this blog. I remember like it was just yesterday when you reached your teenage years, then your sweet 16, off to college, and now you are just about finished. These words of encouragement will stick with many people. Ajibike, you are a great inspiration and I encourage you to keep doing what you are doing because whether you know it or not, there are many people looking up to you. I am so very proud of you and all of your accomplishments. I pray that God continues to bless you in multitudes.I pray that He blesses you with longevity and prosperity so others can see your shining light. Great job!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s