Real footage of your girl being #unbothered by the text messages and DMs from male suitors.
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For some time, we have engaged in conversations about #datinginresidency. It’s a weird space to navigate. Sleep deprivation and emotional fatigue aren’t the cutest accessories to bring on a date but what else can a human in medicine do? Some of you have shared (in private messages over the past few years) that majority of your colleagues are married/in serious relationships, and so you feel even more alone.
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In this space - since I’m team #letsgetreal - I’ve shared my dating adventures and misadventures; my trauma; and how I’ve worked through many of those things. The dating space is one where most of the hard work done in other domains of your life can seemingly unravel. There are a lot of reasons for that, which we won’t breakdown here. There are a lot of ways to approach dating in a way that can be restorative and entertaining. Recently, I started to share in the Instagram stories my perspective and how to navigate this wild world of #onlinedating without losing yourself or losing your joy. #datingappchronicles
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My DMs have been out of control with questions and gratitude and I wanted to share some of what we have discussed here:
1️⃣ Dating should be fun. Changing the end-point / metric of success significantly impacts the experience. I caution all of my friends against deeming a good date as one where he/she/they meets someone with whom they want a long-term relationship. That’s definitely awesome but the true point of dating (as a practice) is to learn and grow and understand what you need/want. Each date is a victory if you shift your perspective.
2️⃣ Dating is non-monogamous. If you’re in a space of dating/exploring - take advantage of that. Dating or talking (or whatever verb you like to use) to multiple people keeps you grounded and more aware; it staves off desperation; it also communicates to both you and your suitors that you’re aware you have options.
3️⃣ Dating is for data collection. This isn’t the time to fret about “I did this, will this ruin things?” Nah homie. Sit back, collect data, and use that information to inform your next steps. 😘
#personal #reflection: heading into #flygirlfall with increasing witchiness and overall gratitude that always corresponds with this season change. This month is my elective period which has come at just the right time as I have drifted through a period of change that has taught me that I need to make significant changes in both the personal and professional spheres of my life.
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Slowly but surely, those changes have been made. Slowly but surely, this period of unexpected challenges has come to a point of resolution.
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Just a few weeks ago, a publishing dynamo launched a digital media space with a focus on medical trainees with anticipated content ranging from academic advice to workplace wellness. I was surprised to receive an email that (to paraphrase) noted that their editors had stumbled across my blog and wanted to know if I would be on of their first writers for this project. So here I am: a second year resident with a penchant for stringing pretty adjectives together, now with a recurring (well) paid writing gig - which is more than I could have ever expected to happen at this stage of my career. And all I can say, to God be the glory since I would certainly not be here on my own.
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#ajibikewrites #journalism #balance #residency
